The end is in sight!

Finally! After 2 years of living with my parents the light at the end of the tunnel has appeared! (Please don't tell me it's a train) Thank you, Grad school. You are my savior. I realize I may be cursing you to death in a year or so when I'm up to my eyeballs in debt and papers, but for now, I'll let you have your glory.

Since I seem to have managed to make it out alive I've decided to compile a list of tips for surviving life with the 'rents at the ripe old age of 23. Mind you, I'm only doing this to keep myself from banging my head against the wall out of sheer boredom.

Tip #1: Purchase Netflix. I held off on this one out of the belief that I do not need TV shows and movies to keep myself entertained. False. It is a necessity.

Tip #2: Get a job working in a school or anything that involves multiple children running up to you at any given time for help. It is exhausting and by the end of the day you don't even care that you have nothing else to do, you just want to sleep. (Don't get me wrong, I love those kids even though they exhaust me to no end)

Tip #3: Exercise. A lot. You'll be so busy crying over the pain in your lungs on that 5th mile you won't be able to think about anything else.

Tip # 4: Stock up on books. Lots and lots of books. (This one I'm 100% serious about. Reading is no laughing matter, kids)

Tip #5: Plan multiple vacations you won't be able to afford for the next 10 years. Like a trip to Scotland, a cross-country road trip or a trip to Peru to see the Inca ruins. Actually, I take this tip back. It's just depressing.

Tip #6: Harass all your available friends to no end until one of them gives in and hangs out with you.

Tip #7: Plan relatively short distance weekend trips. Those are always an adventure. Fung Wah, anyone?

Tip #8: Never, under any circumstance, spend all day or night watching crime show dramas. Nightmares ensue and it rots your brain.

Tip #9: Frequent a trashy dive bar every weekend. You're sure to meet plenty of interesting characters.

Final Tip: As one of my second graders said one day "you just gotta go with the flow". They're so wise, those 7 year olds.

That's all, folks.

Pollen or Milkweed? County or Carpet? Potatoes or Pototoes?

What is one to do when a person decides it's a good idea to hold up 20+ kids from going inside after recess to discuss the dangers of playing with pollen? My solution? Stand back and shake my head in silence.
What was said: "Please, don't play with the pollen on the ground. Some children have very bad allergies to it and it can cause them to have breathing problems and itchy eyes so, please, leave it alone". Not bad advice if what was on the ground had actually been pollen and not a bunch of dead milkweed. I was unaware that pollen looked even remotely similar to dead milkweed. Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Oh. Also, I was told today how a student liked to watch "The Real Housewives of Orange Carpet" with their mother.